ethanrocker wise man once said that “a gentleman is not defined by the content of his wallet or the cut of his suit. He is defined by his manners and the content of his character.” We at The GentleManual are strong proponents of good manners. However, it seems as if the concepts of manners and etiquette are a dying breed in this day and age–a sort of arbitrary construct characteristic of generations past. Etiquette used to be one of the most important lessons a man could learn–one that helped a man get on in his social and professional life and one that set him up for success. In a culture of instant gratification, habitual laziness (when compared to previous generations), and increased gender equality (don’t get us wrong, this is an amazing thing! but one that may have made men erroneously believe that manners are no longer needed if a woman can take care of herself), the importance of etiquette has fallen by the wayside in the 21st century. Sadly, many men today associate manners with negative opinions–stiff, too old-fashioned, contrived, awkward, the list goes on.
You may have tried in vain to hold a door open for a woman only to be met with a blunt “I can do it myself, thanks.” It’s hard these days to bridge the fine line between genuine politeness and coming across as an ostentatious freak. Society simply doesn’t teach etiquette like it used to. How is any man supposed to know what to do when our only references are TV shows and outdated advice from our grandfathers? How do we bring back a practice that most folks believe to be dead and transform etiquette lessons of the past into practical, acceptable behaviors for the present day? How do we define what etiquette should mean for the modern gentleman?
Here, we’ve broken down a list of 11 etiquette rules worth following in the 21st century, as well as each rule’s origins (to make things a little interesting). Follow these and do modern chivalry some justice. We’re counting on you.
1. Leave the Bottom Button of Your Suit Jacket Unbuttoned
Origin
This strange but common fashion practice originated in the turn of the 20th century with British monarch King Edward VII. The King was known to have a healthy appetite–one that his royal garments could not quite keep up with. One day, he unbuttoned the bottom button of his suit as a reprieve after a large meal, and being the royal celebrity that he was, soon members of the court and ultimately the rest of the world followed this trend accordingly, making it the fashion rule we know today.
How-To Today
This is one rule that has not changed a bit. Leaving the bottom button of your suit unbuttoned is not only an etiquette rule, it has evolved into a fashion rule that all modern men must follow. Plus, it’s more comfortable, too.
2. Hold the Door Open
Origin
Okay, so the origins of door-opening may not be as chivalrous as their modern implications would lead you to believe. In medieval and renaissance times, high status women most commonly wore large skirts and tight-fitting corsets, making movement difficult and door-opening virtually impossible. Men would assist by opening doors for women, and the tradition became one associated with high ranking, properly educated men over time. Long after the hoop skirts, petticoats, and corsets were a thing of the past, men continued to open doors for women as a sign of politeness and decorum.
How-To Today
Forget the trendy notion that holding a door open for a woman today is nothing but “benevolent sexism.” In this day and age, why don’t we just hold doors open for each other without considering such a gesture’s outdated gender-charged implications? If you have good intentions for holding a door open for another human being, then by all means please do so. Note: this rule extends to the elderly and anyone that’s close enough behind you that could benefit from a door being held open, as well as women. Kind gestures for all, gents! If you get one or two evil glares from a woman that doesn’t appreciate the move, just hold the door open anyway, smile, and carry on with your day. Nice gestures will be appreciated 9 times out of 10. This rule also applies to car doors.
Full article here – https://www.ties.com/blog/11-etiquette-musts-for-the-modern-gentleman
